Mental Health Awareness Month: What Happens When We Talk Honestly About Our Dogs

If you have worked with me, you know that one of the core values of my approach to dog training is reducing shame.

There are many instances where I have encouraged a client to talk to their friends and neighbors about their struggles with training and to ask them for help or to participate in a training activity. Many people are worried about how others may react to this request. My response to that is: you would be surprised about how many people are dealing with the same or a similar issue with their dogs. You asking for help might be helpful for someone else in return.

So many people carry quiet embarrassment about their dog’s behavior. They think everyone else has it figured out. They assume they are the only one dealing with barking, fear, reactivity, chaos on walks, aging challenges, or unmet expectations. Because of that, they feel apprehensive about talking to other people, even their friends, about their struggles.

Mental Health Awareness Month feels like the perfect time to talk about something I see every day: opening up about your struggles with your dog can be deeply healing. It can reduce isolation, increase connection, and remind you that dog ownership is rarely as effortless as it looks from the outside.

I recently asked clients, friends, and family to share challenges they have faced with their dogs. Here is what came back:

• Struggling to care for her in her senior years

• Fear of the vet (I can relate to this- this is my dog's biggest challenge too)

• Picking things up off the ground and eating them

• Reconciling what I thought dog training should be with the reality of my dog’s abilities

• Managing his reactive side

• Pulling me over on the leash

• Ignoring me when I call him

These are honest, real, incredibly common experiences.

Every dog comes with strengths, quirks, limitations, and needs. Every guardian brings their own hopes, stress, learning curve, and emotions to the relationship. When we talk openly about these experiences, a few important things happen.

Shame Loses Its Power

The moment someone says, “My dog struggles too,” the pressure softens. You realize you are not uniquely failing. You are participating in something shared and human.

Community Grows

Honest conversations create closeness. Vulnerability invites vulnerability. Your neighbor who always seemed to have the perfect dog may be navigating challenges you never saw.

Expectations Become Kinder

Sometimes the hardest part is grieving the dog we imagined and learning to appreciate the dog in front of us. Many people quietly carry this experience. Naming it helps us move toward acceptance and realistic goals.

Support Becomes Easier to Access

When struggle is normalized, asking for help feels less intimidating. Training, veterinary care, behavior support, and community resources become more approachable.

If you are having a hard time with your dog right now, I hope you know this: you are not alone, and you are not behind. There is no perfect dog owner quietly succeeding while everyone else struggles. Most people are simply dealing with their own version of the same story.

May Is Mental Health Awareness Month: The Role of Pets in Our Collective Wellbeing

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to bring compassion and attention to the many factors that shape our wellbeing. One relationship that deserves more recognition is the bond we share with our pets.

One of my clients recently joked, "do all of your clients treat you like a therapist?" It took me barely a second to answer, "yes, of course."

For many people, life with a dog or other companion animal is woven into our mental health. So many of us get dogs during chaotic times in our lives: divorce, after trauma, during addiction or mental health recovery, or when our kids are very young. It's easy to talk about the joy and richness that dogs can bring to our lives; it's less easy to talk about how deeply it can effect us when things go wrong, when tough behaviors arise, when we feel out of control and like bad dog parents. I meet so many of my clients at this point. Many people feel a sense of guilt or shame over their dog's behavior and the fact that they decided to ask for help. I want to use this opportunity to celebrate dog owners who ask for help!

The Pawsitives:

Pets offer a form of connection that is simple and consistent. They do not ask us to perform or explain ourselves. Their presence can create moments of relief, even on difficult days. Time spent walking, training, or simply sitting together can support mindfulness and bring attention back to the present moment.

The structure that dogs require can also be part of the healing process. Routine creates predictability, and predictability can help regulate the nervous system. Getting outside at consistent times, engaging in small training exercises, and maintaining daily care can offer a sense of momentum when motivation is low. These actions may feel small, but over time they build stability and reinforce a sense of capability.

The Not-So-Pawsitives:

It is also important to acknowledge that caring for an animal is not easy. Behavioral challenges, reactivity, puppy development, aging, and health concerns can all impact a guardian’s mental health. It is possible to feel deep love for a dog while also feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or isolated. Both experiences can coexist.

Part of sustaining this relationship is being willing to ask for help. Support can look like working with a trainer, hiring a dog walker, enrolling in daycare, or leaning on friends and family. There is a tendency to feel like we should be able to manage everything on our own, but care is not meant to happen in isolation. Building a support system benefits both you and your dog and can create space for more sustainable progress.

It is equally important to be honest and realistic about expectations. Training is not linear, and progress does not happen on a fixed timeline. Dogs are individuals with their own needs, histories, and limits. Holding rigid expectations for yourself or your dog can add unnecessary pressure and frustration. Many of us see our dog's behavior as a reflection of ourselves. While this can be true to a certain extent, holding on to this idea is more harmful than helpful. A more effective approach is to work with what is in front of you, adjust goals as needed, and recognize that consistency matters more than perfection.

This month, I will be sharing reflections on my Instagram on the relationship between our pets and our collective mental health. This includes the ways animals support emotional wellbeing, as well as the realities and challenges that come with caring for them. My goal is to approach this conversation with nuance, evidence-based understanding, and compassion for both ends of the leash.

If you share your life with a dog, you are already part of this conversation!

10 Functional Home Design Tips for Living With a Dog

From a slightly bougie dog trainer

Bringing a new dog home is exciting, emotional, and full of possibility. It is also, very often, a huge adjustment.

In my work as both a dog trainer and an adoption counselor for an animal rescue, I have seen this pattern over and over again. What starts as love and excitement can quickly turn into stress. There are new messes, unexpected behaviors, and the reality that your home no longer runs exactly the way it used to.

Many dog owners begin to feel like they have to sacrifice peace and order to accommodate their dog. The fur, the barking, the muddy paws, the constant management. It can feel like chaos has taken over.

I want to challenge that idea.

You do not have to give up a calm, functional home to live with a dog. In fact, the opposite is often true. A thoughtfully designed, low stress environment helps create a calm, well adjusted dog. When your home supports you, it also supports your training.

Here are a few simple, functional ways I have designed my own home to reduce both the mess and the stress of living with a dog.

1. Couch blankets I love having a nice cuddle on the couch. This isn't for everyone, but for those of us who want dogs on the couch, having designated couch blankets protects furniture and makes cleanup easy. You can simply toss them in the wash instead of stressing about fur and dirt.

2. Clear counters Keeping counters clear is one of the easiest ways to prevent counter surfing. Dogs are opportunistic. If there is nothing to grab, there is nothing to reinforce the behavior. This is a great example of how management supports training.

3. Blackout curtains Visual triggers are a huge cause of barking. People, dogs, squirrels, delivery trucks. Blackout curtains reduce stimulation and help prevent your dog from rehearsing reactive behaviors throughout the day.

4. White noise Sound can be just as triggering as sight. A white noise machine helps buffer outside noises so your dog is not reacting to every little sound. It creates a calmer, more predictable environment.

5. A “Do Not Knock” sign Is it a perfect solution? No. But a simple sign on your door can help reduce unnecessary knocking or stimulation from outside. Sometimes small environmental tweaks make a noticeable difference.

6. Robot vacuum Dog hair is part of the lifestyle. A robot vacuum takes one task off your plate and keeps things feeling more manageable on a daily basis. Less buildup means less stress.

7. Treat containers in high traffic areas Training does not just happen in structured sessions. It happens in everyday moments. Keeping treats in key areas like near the door or in the living room allows you to reinforce good behavior in real time.

8. Stair floor pads Stairs can be slippery and intimidating for dogs. Adding traction helps prevent injuries, builds confidence, and supports long term joint health.

9. Washable rugs Accidents and muddy paws happen. Washable rugs make it easy to maintain a clean space without frustration. They are a simple way to keep your home both functional and comfortable.

10. Waterproof mattress protection If your dog sleeps on your bed, this is a must. Whether it is dirt, drool, or the occasional accident, having that extra layer of protection gives peace of mind.

Living with a dog does not have to mean living in chaos. With a few intentional choices, you can create a home that feels calm, clean, and supportive for both of you.

A low stress home creates a low stress dog. And that is something both you and your dog deserve.